Six Words to Build Autonomy and Save Parental Energy
For the next seven days, try this! Find a piece of paper. Write these six words on it: What can you do about that? Put it in your pocket. For the next week, when your child asks you a question, needs help with something you want them to accomplish on their own, or is...
I am a 28F and my boyfriend a 28M. Do you think it’s possible to have a healthy relationship with someone who believes they are more intelligent than you are? My boyfriend is an extremely talented and creative musician who writes and produces his own music. He said that no one can make music like him. Because of this he thinks he is extremely smart and thinks he is smarter than me and anyone else.
Unless he is busting the pop charts, as talented as he may be, in truth, he is an aspiring musician. Actors and artists sometimes struggle with finding their place because they are often, as you (and he!) said, very good at what they do and want to share it with the...
Excuses for Checked-out Parenting
I have to work. Reframe: I have chosen to live in an area and create a lifestyle that requires a level of income that takes my time and attention away from parenting to an extreme degree. I don’t like parenting. It’s not what I thought it would be. Reframe: Parenting...
Inspire your Child to Set up their next Big Failure
“If you’re not failing, you are not innovating,” Jeff Bezos, Amazon. Look out for your child’s mishaps, bumps, and failures and get excited for those moments. Top CEOs are doing the same. In fact, they won’t hire people who haven’t had them or try to avoid them. When...
I’m looking to set up a suitable chore list for my kids and was curious if you had a good format that I could reference? I currently ask them to help unload the dishwasher, clean their rooms and make their bed each morning (all without pay), but curious if there were other things you’d recommend or parameters that you set that are appropriate for 9 and 11 year olds?
This is a common question, and there's many ways to build a values-based system for your family. Here is a "Flow of Abundance" chart that helps children see that we get out of life what we put into it. If we are thoughtful and generous with our time, treasure, and...
I need to do some soul searching and decide what I want my future to look like, that is, if I want to stay in marriage. I am at a cross roads in my life and I don’t know how to figure out what I want and in what order I should do things in. I have been doing what I feel is right for my kids but I’m losing myself along the way and ultimately that won’t be good for them.
A great strategy is to make a list of pains and gains. This is a little different than pros and cons, and can help identify the values associated with each choice. So you do the pains and gains of staying, and the pains and gains of leaving. You also can do it for the...
Husband just admitted to having an affair. We have 3 kids at home, and I’m still just trying to process all of this. He has said he does not want to split everything and wants custody. I guess what’s I’m asking is should I hire a cut throat lawyer?
The court is going to look at what has been documented through law enforcement. The court does not care about affairs or why the marriage ended. Stay focused on what matters, which is creating a strong coparenting relationship with your child’s father. This is the...
What do I do when my three year old is having a tantrum and repeats the same phrase while crying for 30 or 45 minutes?
These are tough to experience and developmentally appropriate. Breathe by inhaling deeply and then fully pushing all the air from your diaphragm on the exhale. Repeat as often as needed while she’s needing support. Jump her into the prefrontal cortex by calling...
Mom Question: I work and do all the work at home, too! How can I make him understand?
I do all the work. My husband gets a promotion and it’s the biggest deal in the world—and I’m happy for him. But I work, too, and I still do everything else—doctor appts, birthday planning, you name it. I resent this, I admit it! How can I get him to do more? Couple...
Should my 12-year-old have Instagram, Snapchat, or TikTok?
Question for all parents. Would you let your 12-year-old daughter have Instagram, Snapchat, or TikTok? I’m trying to be reasonable with my daughter cause I know a lot of her friends have these apps and she’s kinda singled out as one without it. I’m a younger mom at...
CARA DAY, M.A.
Family Coach
Recent Posts
Six Words to Build Autonomy and Save Parental EnergySeptember 27, 2024- I am a 28F and my boyfriend a 28M. Do you think it’s possible to have a healthy relationship with someone who believes they are more intelligent than you are? My boyfriend is an extremely talented and creative musician who writes and produces his own music. He said that no one can make music like him. Because of this he thinks he is extremely smart and thinks he is smarter than me and anyone else.June 16, 2024
- Excuses for Checked-out ParentingApril 27, 2024
- Inspire your Child to Set up their next Big FailureApril 27, 2024
- I’m looking to set up a suitable chore list for my kids and was curious if you had a good format that I could reference? I currently ask them to help unload the dishwasher, clean their rooms and make their bed each morning (all without pay), but curious if there were other things you’d recommend or parameters that you set that are appropriate for 9 and 11 year olds?January 27, 2024
