Let it go
It’s a disservice to say “let it go” to loved ones or any “ones” who are caught in a thought or behavior pattern or an addiction that is not working for them. * “Let it go” makes it sound easy, as if you’d get the same, immediate outcome ...
A Strategy for Grace: For yourself and others
The holidays (and regular days!) can create a lower stress threshold, causing even simple things others say or do to become annoying. When chronic annoyance is present, it is the annoyed, not the annoyer, who has some work to do. Impatience, annoyance,...
Conversations with my Children: Mackenzie Makes a Decision
Conversations with my Children My daughter, Mackenzie, was deciding whether to give her first boyfriend another chance (actually a 3rd chance), or to end the relationship. When the relationship started, she was 19, he was 21. He held many wonderful qualities and was...
The Essentials of Shame, Part 3
The Essentials of Shame, Part 3 In Part 1, we talked about why shame is chosen. In Part 2, we dove into how each parenting style affects the development of shame. What now? What if you carry shame from childhood, or can see that you say and do things that may be...
The Essentials of Shame Part 2
Click here to read Part 1. It’s useful to understand how and why shame is chosen when we are children. Once this is understood, shame can begin to be healed and released. For parents, this healing work helps them build a parenting style that minimizes the development...
The Essentials of Shame
Today I’d like to talk about something that’s an important foundation of our work together–healing shame. This will be done in 4 parts. Part 1 today.To start, it’s important to understand the origin of shame, why we are...
Teenagers and Porn
There are many ways children can have exposure to porn, even if they are closely supervised, and are being raised by conscientious parents. Here are some of them: Your child’s friend or friend’s older sibling exposes your child to porn either at your house, or when...
Toddler Talk
Parenting a toddler is an exhilarating and humbling experience! By using the same phrases on a regular basis, you create a feeling of security and predictability into the sometimes topsy-turvy world of a toddler. Use these short, positively stated phrases to help your toddler understand what choices they have in any given moment.
Winning Ways to Speak by Cara Day
Winning Ways to Speak by Cara Day The words you use, how they are put together, combined with the open, expansiveness of your eyes, your tone of voice, and the warmth of your body language help determine the quality of your communication with your children (and other...
CARA DAY, Ph.D.
Family Coach
Recent Posts
Six Words to Build Autonomy and Save Parental EnergySeptember 27, 2024- I am a 28F and my boyfriend a 28M. Do you think it’s possible to have a healthy relationship with someone who believes they are more intelligent than you are? My boyfriend is an extremely talented and creative musician who writes and produces his own music. He said that no one can make music like him. Because of this he thinks he is extremely smart and thinks he is smarter than me and anyone else.June 16, 2024
- Excuses for Checked-out ParentingApril 27, 2024
- Inspire your Child to Set up their next Big FailureApril 27, 2024
- I’m looking to set up a suitable chore list for my kids and was curious if you had a good format that I could reference? I currently ask them to help unload the dishwasher, clean their rooms and make their bed each morning (all without pay), but curious if there were other things you’d recommend or parameters that you set that are appropriate for 9 and 11 year olds?January 27, 2024
