Utilitarianism is a common belief system, meaning you put the good of the community over your own needs and values. If they believe vaccines keep the general population healthier and hold the value of the greater good over individualism, autonomy, and medical freedom (which are equally valid values), then it is understandable they may want to distance themselves. There are many different views we can hold in life, and they are shaped by our awareness, knowledge, and life experiences. They get to live in alignment with their values, same as you. As other commenters have said, the boundary and distance they are placing frees you from having their judgment possibly affecting your child, and opening up an opportunity for you to create stronger ties in the community that shares your values. We all get a finite amount of time here, and especially with our children.
For the text response, perhaps: “Thank you for sharing your thoughts and feelings with me. I am also always here should you need anything.” The best way to “inform” others of your values is through inspiration and compassion, not anger, judgment, and righteousness.
If and when it becomes apparent to your child that a boundary has been placed (you can wait for this to happen), to your child perhaps say something like this: “Everyone has different values around health and their bodies. We hold different values and that’s ok. They prefer to not be around un-vaccinated people when possible, and that is their choice. We are still good neighbors and can respect each other.” Elaborate on the science and reasons you choose not to be vaccinated if needed.
This type of response helps avoid “chosen shame” for your child, which parents can create in their children when a child is ostracized or excluded, but not provided with an adequate explanation. When there’s a vacuum, we tend to fill it with the worst possible thing. For a child, it can lead to shame. Fill in the gap and teach your child that it’s ok for people to hold differing views. Two reasonable people can disagree.
